The Truth about Online Dating

I was once a matchmaker – I worked with an online dating website in Ireland for over a decade and believe me when you are that long in the dating game  you really get to meet and see all types!

It’s a great way for people of any age to meet people and I’d advise everyone who’s single and looking for someone to give it a go but I’ve made a few observations over the years so watch out for the following:

Generally I break the men down into 3 main groups:

Firstly we have the Shy Guy Sam. Sam is a really nice man who lacks confidence in his ability to appeal to women but  actually he has an enormous amount to offer any women. He’s  caring, thoughtful,  interesting and fun once you give him a chance and get to know him.

Then there’s Good Time Gordon, He’s only there for 1 thing. He’s a serial dater and regularly has 3 or 4 women on the go at any one time –  He’s naughty but nice – you know you’re going to have a good time but don’t expect a call afterwards.

Finally you have Professional Pete. Confident, out-going, professional, knows what he wants, doesn’t like time wasters. He’ll date a woman if she fits well with his image and he’s looking for something nice on his arm to bring to his corporate events.

Then we have the Women

Dating sites tend to be full of 2nd time rounders. Secondtime Sue is in her mid 50s she’s  been there, and done that, she was married and has a couple of children in college, she’s  learnt about relationships the hard way. She’s  practical and has realistic expectations.  She’s  looking for some company and fun and it would be a bonus great if it leads to anything more permanent.

Then there is Party Pamela, she is what it says on the tin. She wants to have a good time and would like to have some good, fun, male company to pay for her on the party scene.

And finally there is terrifying Tick Tock Tess  – yes you’ve guessed it. She spent her twenties and most of her 30s building a fabulous career. She’s a  fashionista, she knows what’s hot and what’s not. She goes  on great holidays, owns her own house, drives a fast car and  has raced up the corporate ladder, now she’s decided, it time to find a husband and have children and she has 2 years to achieve that – she is organised in her approach – she has a check list – he must match every point on it. She rips through unsuitable – and unsuspecting men like a hot knife through butter ….. and she is scary.

So 3 categories of men, 3 categories of women – that should work out pretty well. The shy guys and 2nd time rounders would be fantastic together the women have enough knowledge and experience of men to give the shy guys a chance to come out of their shell and discover the beauty that lies beneath.

The party girls and good time boys hook up whenever it suits them – have wild nights and move on to the next one – no one cares that the other one didn’t call.

And the man about town and tick tockers should schedule lunch, meet for 15 minutes and decide if the criteria has been met before either parting company quickly or heading off into the sunset together to spawn some perfect children.

But  of course that’s not what happens at all. Here’s the reality.

The Tick Tockers present themselves really well on line – it’s a sales pitch to them and boy do they sell themselves. They are so convincing at selling themselves that the shy guys make contact – they hook up – the shy guy, although terrified is madly in love while the tick tocker can’t even remember his name by the end of the date – which by the way lasted 15 minutes – she excused herself said she was going to the ladies and never returned – he’s still sitting there

The man about town fancies himself something shocking, so he reckons he could give the party girl a great night out – she just finds him restrictive and controlling – he does have a great time though! – but she’ll never go out with him again.

The good time guy reckons that the thing to really spice up his life is an experienced woman, he contacts  2nd time Sue – she, not liking any of the more recent photos of herself, had actually put up a photo from 15 years back! They meet, he’s surprised by the wrinkles but hey, nothing ventured. She’s so flattered that a younger man might take an interest in her that she goes along, to a point, and then realises that she is probably just ticking off a fantasy for him. They never meet again.

So if you have any friends, or you yourself are venturing back into the dating scene – you have been warned – seek out the one that’s right for you through the quagmire of unsuitability but stick at it – it’s a fantastic way to meet people and given that we used to average a wedding a week on the dating site you can find your soulmate but you’re going to have to kiss a lot of frogs along the way!

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